It’s okay to not be ready; it’s not okay to never be ready.

God is dope

I didn’t marry someone else’s husband.

Sometimes the greatest act of selfless love is freeing someone to experience a deeper love than you could give them.

This year has been hard because Facebook has chosen to continually show me memories of a relationship I had 2 years ago that I thought I had put to rest and moved on from. Is Facebook the enemy? Yes…I don’t know, but I know it has caused some low moments. Mind you, my ex and I are not friends on any social media platform, but the constant reminders have dug me into a pit analyzing a relationship that is far and done.

He was great. He loved the Lord, served well and adored me to the best of his human ability…

…but he wasn’t for me.

Getting over someone is hard, but getting over someone who wasn’t necessarily “bad” for you, who was essentially a “good” guy is even harder. The cheater, the one you weren’t interested in anyways, the jerk, the one that just kind of fell away-they all have “reasons” to get over. But when the only reason you have is the Holy Spirit’s urging that this is not the right one is difficult.

I still remember the toil and anguish.


Never had I experienced such restlessness over something good. And as cliche’ as it is, just because it was good doesn’t mean it was God.

I’m convinced we could have made it work. We could have put in extra work. We could have sacrificed parts of ourselves that we believe God uniquely put inside of us for a little bit of happiness. And I believe the Lord would have blessed it. But part of maturity in Christ is trusting even when we don’t understand. It’s letting go of what you want for what He wants. It’s the true understanding that your life, my life is not your own even though He has given us abundant free will.

It’s to love God and love others.

I love God by trusting Him and I love others by letting them go when I want to hold on tightly.

My Resolution: I made the right choice because I know there was better for him and I trust there’s better for me.

Just because it helps, doesn’t mean it won’t hurt.

The pain shows you cared. You’re human. Your heart is right. Never question that.

“Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life” (Proverbs 13:12). I recognize that sometimes the hurt is the hope you had in that person/relationship fulfilling a desire or longing. White-knuckled we want it to happen and we can’t fathom something so close to that reality not being it. Yet, continue to trust that the Lord will fulfill that longing.

Have a spirit of gratitude. What have you learned for the next? It’s okay to not be ready; it’s not okay to never be ready.

Letters to myself for you,


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